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The height of laziness is a man is shitting on the beach and waiting for the tide |
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What do they call Bush his zipper? The "U.S. Open |
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Beer: helping ugly people get laid since 1823 |
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Impotence: Nature's way of saying "no hard feelings" |
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Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls |
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Everyone likes a little ass, but no one likes a smart ass |
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I like my steak so rare that when you poke it, it still says mooooo |
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The only reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live |
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Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later |
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Only in America do they buy a double cheese burger, large fries and a DIET COKE |
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Oh man this is crazy, I hope I didn't brain my damage |
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Time flies like the wind; fruit flies like bananas |
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If you dont like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk |
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Be a Minimalist. It's the least you can do |
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After working here, I now realize that "Dilbert" is not a comic strip. It's a documentary |
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